Chapter 6: Lost in plain sight

I moved through Oakland like I belonged to the streets.

Meeting new people. Traveling to places I never imagined. Stacking what I could — shit really, just surviving the only way I knew how.

Trying to outrun pain that somehow followed me everywhere I went.

To the world, I looked grown.

Like I had it figured out. Like I knew exactly what I was doing.

But behind the fast life, the money, and the hard face was still a little girl trying to understand why life had forced her to grow up so fast. A little girl still carrying pain she never got the chance to unpack.

By 15, fear didn’t hit me the same anymore.

After everything I had already survived, I wasn’t scared of the world. I was numb.

I thought I had soaked up enough game to survive anything. Thought I understood the streets enough to move smart. But truthfully, life still hadn’t shown me nothing yet.

And I had no idea Los Angeles was about to introduce me to a whole different kind of survival.

It all started with a Greyhound ticket.

Me and my best friend Talia decided to head to LA. Young, reckless, chasing freedom — or maybe just trying to run from everything we didn’t know how to face back home.

Hollywood felt different.

The lights. The people. The energy. Everything moved fast.

But behind all the bright lights was another side — one nobody warns kids about.

We ended up crossing paths with a Jamaican man named Waki who owned a smoke shop. Life had already taught me everybody ain’t good people, but somehow…

he looked out for us. Upstairs from the shop was a room with a bed where we could shower, sleep, and rest whenever we were nearby.

Looking back now, I realize how dangerous life really was.

Two teenage girls in a city we didn’t know.

No real plan.

No protection.

Just trying to survive.

Me and Talia started moving around, getting rides, smoking, drinking, and having guys take us to places where we thought we could make money. Back then, survival made everything feel normal — even the dangerous stuff.

Until one night changed everything.

We ended up somewhere deep in Blood territory.

I’ll never forget it.

I had just paid for some juice and chips when I heard a voice behind me.

Deep. Cold.

“You look lost.”

I turned around.

Tall man. Slick ponytail. Eyes that felt heavy.

Something about him didn’t sit right with my spirit.

Me and Talia tried to leave, walking the opposite direction like we didn’t hear him.

Then everything shifted.

He pulled out a pistol.

“Get in the car.”

For a second, it felt like life froze.

My heart dropped.

Everything around me got quiet.

Like time slowed down.

And in that moment, I knew one thing for sure:

If I didn’t think fast… this might be the last story I ever lived to tell. The crazy part about survival is… sometimes your instincts kick in before your mind even catches up.

At 15, I should’ve been worried about school, friends, or what shoes I wanted to wear.

Instead, I was learning how to read danger.

How to watch people’s faces.

How to move carefully.

How to survive.

Fear had already changed me.

After everything I had been through, panic didn’t hit me the way it probably should have. Somewhere inside me, my mind had learned to shut feelings off and focus on getting through the moment.

I kept telling myself:

Just stay calm. Think. Don’t make the wrong move.He ended up taking me to his house.

That’s where I got what he called “instructions.”

The kind of conversation that let me know quick — I wasn’t in Oakland anymore, and LA played by a different set of rules.

Everything moved fast.

Too fast.

Before I could even process what was happening, I found myself being dropped off on Figueroa.

Young.

Lost.

Trying to look tougher than I felt.

Trying not to let fear show on my face.

Because the streets could smell fear before you even opened your mouth.

I hopped in the car with a client who eventually took me toward Century Boulevard and Figueroa.

And somehow, through all the chaos, one thing crossed my mind:

I need to call my auntie.

I found a pay phone.

My hands felt shaky, but I tried not to let it show.

Out of everybody in the world, she was the one person that made me feel safe.

The one person I thought would know what to do.The one person I thought might somehow save me. But I never expected what was about to happen next…

This was only the beginning. “I knew the game now “.  It was like a light switch turned on me vs everybody.